It Started from Doubt

I do not really know how others have come to embrace Islam, what their journey was like, and why they chose it. Perhaps some are simply born into a Muslim family and accepted Islam as the truth. Maybe some are reverts and by the Qadr of Allah (SWT) their hearts just welcomed Islam as way of life. I do not know what it was like for them. I can only speak of my own.

I was born into a practicing Muslim family. I have been sent to a madrasah (Islamic education school) before I was enrolled in the regular school. As a kid, I accepted everything as the truth, no questions, no buts, no ifs. Whatever I see—prayer, fasting, etc.—I copy like a parrot mimicking what is shown to it and repeats it over and over again.

When I entered high school, we were introduced to other religions through our Values Education class. It was a game changer. I remember those days when I spend our Bible study finding texts that do not appeal to me. We moved on the Quran and I did the same thing. I thought, so there are many religions in the world, what if I was born into the wrong one and accepted it as a fact?  Shouldn’t I go out there and search for the truth? And so began The Doubt.

I searched for the truth, read books and listened to learned people because logic does not accept things as truth without basis. I cannot be a Muslim only because I was the daughter of my Muslim parents. I will be a Muslim because in my heart, I truly believed it. Being the thinking person that I am, I have to know what makes Islam THE Religion. I have to know the history; I have to know if the whole Islamic ideology makes sense. If it appeals to my logic and sings to my soul, then my belief will be concrete.

Because blind belief is pointless.

And I remember an aleemah who once said that the amal(good deeds) of a learned person is a thousand-fold heavier than that of an ignorant believer. It may not be exactly what she said, but you get the point.

I will not get into the details of why I found truth in Islam because it will trigger a riot of debates that are as redundant as a Parisian eating croissant with the Eiffel at the background.

At this point in my life, I can say with conviction that indeed I am a Muslimah. Although my faith goes up and down, at least I know that I am a Muslimah deep down to my bones. It is an identity. With that identity comes the hijab which inspired this website. What else best symbolize the Muslim woman than the hijab? It is modesty. It is courage. It is an honor.

And so with this website, I hope we create a community of young Muslimahs who face the same challenges in the modern world. We all know donning this piece of cloth isn’t always a walk in the park, but friends make it easier. And is your friend.

So what’s your story?



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