After years of telling myself to shut up because i’m too afraid of being judged and of what people might say, I am learning to get my voice back. I want to tell you my story, what it’s like to be in my shoes and to tell you that despite how difficult it might be for having bipolar disorder, there IS hope. And somehow hoping that I can help and inspire you. Perhaps I have more to share than darkness and I could spread some beauty into the world too…
I can’t say that i’m 100% A-okay. I’m still not out of the woods yet but i’m getting there. But I am so much better than yesterday…
HOW I DEAL WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER
1. Therapy and Medicine
I’ve been taking meds for 4 years now and it really helped me stabilize my mood. Medications are also quite expensive, i’m just so lucky that my parents can give all the possible support I can get. Alas, talking also helps. I’ve been through sessions of therapy and it helped!
All i’m saying is if it works out for you, continue taking it. Like I said there’s no harm in trying.
2. Support System
I’m beyond lucky that I have a great support system. I’m thankful to have my parents that supports me not just financially but also emotionally. Having a family and friends that loves me and understands me even though sometimes i’m too hard to understand and to deal with had a great impact in making me a better person. Telling me to not let my illness define me and giving me constant advice, they’re like my sidekicks in fighting my monsters. Of course I lost a lot of friends who easily gave up on me, at the end you’ll really know who your true friends are. I’m deeply grateful to have all of them!
3. Environment & Lifestyle change
It was a great challenge changing my lifestyle though sometimes i’m still guilty of breaking them. It’s hard but no pain no gain. Here are some of the changes I’ve undergone:
- Getting enough sleep is important. Sleeping 8-9 hours helped me stabilize my mood and boosts up my hormones.
- Avoid chocolates, sodas and other junk. I’m still having troubles with this but i’m trying. I’m trying little by little. Also, eat vegies and other bipolar friendly food, there tons of choices in google if you’re interested.
- Exercise can help too! It alleviates depression and balance your mood. It also increases attention and decision making. But now that i’m working it’s hard to exercise everyday, I barely have time but i’m doing the best that I can to find time.
It’s really important that you find the things that you’d love to do, it’s a great help. Whether it’s baking or gardening, cleaning your house or painting, whatever you’re interest is just do it. Cry and then stand up, stop sulking under your blanket and just do it. It can help you in divert all those negative vibes into something good, positive and productive, thus it’ll make you more passionate and inspired to do more productive things.
5. Becoming a Hijabi
Lastly, I’ve realised that reverting to Islam made a huge difference in my life. I tell you, I may not be the most knowledgeable or devoted Muslim but Islam especially wearing the hijab really made a difference in my life. Wearing hijab and becoming modest made me become cautious in my action in the public and towards other people, it teaches me to act proper and that includes to be aware of me being impulsive, to think before I speak. I can stay i’m still a bit lost spiritually but i’m learning, i’m getting there step-by-step. It really changed my life. It made me stronger. Insha Allah, i’ll be better than I was yesterday.
I guess having Bipolar Disorder is a constant battle, it’s always there and will always be there hiding in the closet inside me. But like I said, there IS hope. The fact that i’m still alive and writing this down proves it. I’m not out of the woods yet but i’m getting there.
So if you’re on the same shoes as mine, please don’t take your life away, you are not alone. Help yourself, it may not be easy and it may take a bit long but do it still, for yourself, and believe me it’s all worth it, after all life is still beautiful..