We are so curious about what the future has for us. We worry a lot about the future. So, we navigate the future by becoming more adult than we are and securing ourselves for the future. At 20-something, we thrive to be the best that we can be. The thoughts of doing everything all at once and trying different things would come in mind.
We want to make sure that we are heading towards a better future. But, we are not prepared of the possibility that things may not happen as expected. This can worsen our worries which are are the result of constant worries about the future. These worries make us neglect what is in front of us – those that we have at the moment.
Now is the most important thing, and which is what we have for sure. Worrying about the future, which we may not have, will make us ignore the doors of opportunities that are currently opened for us.
Here are just 10 out of too many things that twenty-something Muslimah need to stop worrying about
1. Getting married and having kids
As Muslims, it’s important to get married and have kids for it is one of the goals of our existence. But, feeling bad when you reach 29 and still single is not right. Being single doesn’t make anyone less Muslim. If he’s not yet with you, then he’ll be at the right time. Being single doesn’t mean you’re not having a good life. You still can do a lot of things to live a meaningful life. Such as influencing others in a positive way, cherishing the company of your family, discovering your abilities and working hard to be closer to Allah.
2. Achieving success
20-something women crave for reaching milestones at a young age. But, not because you’ve read a news that someone becomes a millionaire at 21 should it make you feel like you should too. If you will define success as how this dunya describes it, then you will never be successful. Don’t worry about how to be successful in this dunya, worry about how to be successful in your akhira and that will make you a successful person for that is what success really is.
3. Not fitting in
Living in a catholic country as Muslims, there are daily challenges in keeping our identity. There are jobs that don’t accept us because of our beliefs, but that’s okay. You don’t need to give up your identity to find a job or to fit in a society. That identity will lead you to the right community, right job and right opportunities. It will lead you to where you belong.
4. The number of friends you have
Quality not quantity is what matters when it comes to friendships. Having less true friends that you can count with your fingers is a lot better than 2000+ friends on Facebook and Instagram who don’t really care about you.
5. Luxurious things
Do not worry about how to get that latest iPhone when you still have a good one or that camera that you don’t need at the moment. When you are worrying about these things, it’s because you still can’t afford it. So, let those thoughts go for now. When the time comes that you are stable financially and you find yourself in need of these things then buy it. But for now, spend your money to what matters most.
6. Losing touch with your old friends
When high school was over, we had to separate with some closest friends. We parted ways to chase our dreams. Then we entered college, made new friends, then we had to part ways with them after graduation. The best friend you had back then moved away, or maybe you have. But, it’s really normal to grow apart. Don’t worry about that.
7. What somebody else is doing
Don’t keep on looking at the highlights of other people’s life. There are too many trends when it comes to achievements, investments, and career choices that others are taking but don’t let those influence your decisions in life. Not because most people around you are into the same thing should you also do that thing. Think about your own likes, and interests. Focus on yourself.
8. Rejection and failures
Rejection and failures will always be part of our life. There are tons of these that we will have to face in the future because it’s normal, and it’s part of the journey. Rather than worrying about these, use these as inspiration and motivation to leap higher, to work better, and to improve more. Understand the reasons behind your rejections and failures, use those as opportunities to improve rather than using them to feel bad of yourself.
9. How your online profiles look like
There are more important things to think about than how your Instagram feed, your blog theme, facebook profile look like. Don’t exert too much effort in it as if achieving a “perfect” profile would make you achieve a perfect life. Focus on the reality. Spend more time in improving yourself, and less in beautifying your profiles and making others have false impression that you are having a life exactly as how you showed on your profiles.
10. Pleasing others
Pleasing others is a losing battle, cause you will never please everyone. People will always expect crazy things from you. If you live pleasing others, you’ll end up feeling sad inside. You’ll end up with people you aren’t happy being with, doing things you don’t like, and living in a place you aren’t comfortable living at. Don’t let yourself wake up one day and see things you’ve done were to please others, and not because you really want to. Be reminded that you should only please the Creator, and not people.